Poll Dancing in “The Big Sleazy!”

Everybody says it.  Everybody talks about it.   Everybody thinks they know what it means.  But NOBODY has seen it.

What are we talking about?  Well, not Frank Sciarraffa’s chorizo!  Lots of people have seen it and everybody KNOWS what it means.

No, the topic on everybody’s loose lips nowadays are all the political polls that are floating around town. Has anybody been called for one?  Thousands of people claim they have, (millions went to Woodstock, by the way) but we at the Lizard don’t believe it. By all accounts, the so-called “polls” are figments of the imagination of the underbelly sucker fish of Laredo politics.

There aren’t enough ranchos in all of South Texas go hold all the bullcrap manufactured in just one week on the local political trail.

Allegedly a poll was done at the first of the year and sponsored by one of the Bruni brothers. Or possibly Danny Lopez. Or maybe the Cuellars. Or who knows, maybe the chupacabra. People have been quoting it for nearly five months.

Now, Commissioner candidate Mike Montemayor has sent out a mass text message announcing that he’s got 72% of a new poll “and climbing.” We believe that to be a “Gallop” Poll, because we think pure horse-poop.

Not to be outdone, our fellow blogger, LaredoBuzz, is in the process of conducting a “Mock Election,” and letting each candidate vote for himself 300 or 400 times. Of course, it’s just for fun and reflects little more than the paranoia of some of the candidates.

LareDos Magazine’s favorite son, George Altgett, for example, got up yesterday and voted for himself more than 300 times. For a couple of hours he was in the lead against Jon Galo; but Galo supporters came to the rescue and sent Meg Guerra’s boy back to school

Brother Looey Bruni has been pushing his own buttons all week…but that’s nothing new. And Big Frank S has come from behind to move ahead of Looey and Mike “72%” Montemayor.

Amazingly, this fake election looks like some of the so-called “REAL” polls people have been quoting for months. So … are the “numbers” real or are the pollsters out of Laredo, the Valley, Austin and god knows where else just as full of crap as the people sitting at home voting over and over again on LaredoBuzz?

Think about it?

And remember to vote in the one poll that really counts. The one that starts at the Ballot Box on May 14.