Poll Dancing in “The Big Sleazy!”

Everybody says it.  Everybody talks about it.   Everybody thinks they know what it means.  But NOBODY has seen it.

What are we talking about?  Well, not Frank Sciarraffa’s chorizo!  Lots of people have seen it and everybody KNOWS what it means.

No, the topic on everybody’s loose lips nowadays are all the political polls that are floating around town. Has anybody been called for one?  Thousands of people claim they have, (millions went to Woodstock, by the way) but we at the Lizard don’t believe it. By all accounts, the so-called “polls” are figments of the imagination of the underbelly sucker fish of Laredo politics.

There aren’t enough ranchos in all of South Texas go hold all the bullcrap manufactured in just one week on the local political trail.

Allegedly a poll was done at the first of the year and sponsored by one of the Bruni brothers. Or possibly Danny Lopez. Or maybe the Cuellars. Or who knows, maybe the chupacabra. People have been quoting it for nearly five months.

Now, Commissioner candidate Mike Montemayor has sent out a mass text message announcing that he’s got 72% of a new poll “and climbing.” We believe that to be a “Gallop” Poll, because we think pure horse-poop.

Not to be outdone, our fellow blogger, LaredoBuzz, is in the process of conducting a “Mock Election,” and letting each candidate vote for himself 300 or 400 times. Of course, it’s just for fun and reflects little more than the paranoia of some of the candidates.

LareDos Magazine’s favorite son, George Altgett, for example, got up yesterday and voted for himself more than 300 times. For a couple of hours he was in the lead against Jon Galo; but Galo supporters came to the rescue and sent Meg Guerra’s boy back to school

Brother Looey Bruni has been pushing his own buttons all week…but that’s nothing new. And Big Frank S has come from behind to move ahead of Looey and Mike “72%” Montemayor.

Amazingly, this fake election looks like some of the so-called “REAL” polls people have been quoting for months. So … are the “numbers” real or are the pollsters out of Laredo, the Valley, Austin and god knows where else just as full of crap as the people sitting at home voting over and over again on LaredoBuzz?

Think about it?

And remember to vote in the one poll that really counts. The one that starts at the Ballot Box on May 14.

3 thoughts on “Poll Dancing in “The Big Sleazy!”

  1. Permalink  ⋅ Reply

    Funny stuff

    May 12, 2012 at 12:01am

    Haha, Galo did the same not his supporters!

  2. Permalink  ⋅ Reply

    Michael Thrasher

    July 14, 2012 at 8:04pm

    Well… to start out with, your way off on your own facts. 500K aattended woodstock over 4 days. 600 Acres and 32 acts.

    As for Mike Montemayor.. he served our country in a time of war. So if the others did not stand up then to be counted by the community to defend them, how can the community suppport anyone but Mike Montemayor?

    Put your vote where you see action, not lip servce…

    Lizzard.. nice site. Did you know Mike Montemayor gave up a singing career to serve in the US Navy? I was there… and I know first hand. Cut this guy some slack and show him Larado cares for those who fight for their freedom. Those few… are the one to support when they need your help back.. “VOTE MIKE”

    Michael Thrasher, CEO, Amber Alert International.
    “Child Abduction Prevention and Recovery”

    • Permalink  ⋅ Reply

      The Lizard

      July 14, 2012 at 11:01pm

      Well, Michael, you obviously missed the sarcasm in the comment. You could probably find 3 million people who claim to have attended Woodstock. I know this because I was there and counted about 452,672 over the three days, not four btw, if you don’t count the children who were born.

      If you do not understand how sarcasm would apply to this travesty of American democracy, then you’re going to be very disappointed and confused on July 29 when Frank Sciarraffa is swept into office with 60-plus percent of the vote. Will he deserve it? Probably not. Has he broken any laws? Probably so.

      But he will win and win big.

      The assertion that Mike Montmayor gave up a career as Ricky Martin to serve us is immaterial. That Mike Montemayor served us during some war (that you didn’t specify … Grenada?) is meaningless.

      All that counts in this election is who gets his peopl out to vote. Frank and his network may be Laredo’s best at that.

      He’ll win. And skip on all the FBI bs.

      The Lizard stands by the prediction. And no, the Lizard doesn’t support anybody in this race.

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